The Patience of Love - Week 19

1 Corinthians 13:4a

4a Love is patient and kind;

In Matthew 18:23-35, we find a parable of Jesus in which He told the story of a king who was settling accounts with his servants. One of his servants owed him more money than he could ever hope to repay. It was so great an amount it is rather unfathomable to imagine anyone being in debt that far. Nevertheless, this servant owed his master that much. Now, naturally the servant begs for mercy and even promises to pay all that is owed if only the king will have patience with him. Out of pity for him, the master released from him the whole debt.

If that were the end of the story, it would be great. What a show of compassion and mercy! What a feeling it must have been for the servant to have had all of his debt forgiven! You would think that the servant would run through the streets and give praise to his master and his life would change forever. Yet, Jesus continues, the servant met up with someone who owed him a relatively small sum. "So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt." You, my reader, will immediately sense a welling up of moral outrage over this. How could the first man, whose insurmountable debt was completely forgiven, not forgive his fellow servant a few dollars? But wait, the story is not over yet. The master learns of this and calls his servant to him and said, "'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt." In the end, this wicked servant died miserably in prison because he could not forgive his brother and could never pay his debt.

As it comes to loving our fellow man, we must recognize that by nature, we would choke any one's neck who owed a debt to us, or who we believe wronged us, or offended us. The greatest sins committed are the ones committed against us, right? Our own sins are small in insignificant compared to others, right? WRONG! We have the same debt hanging over our heads as this servant did. We owe more than we could ever repay. And Matthew Henry pointed out, we do not owe what we owe to an equal. We owe what we owe to an infinite God. We do not calculate what we think He is owed. He calculates our obligation. And from His perspective, it is more than we can possibly imagine.

But the same God who is infinitely offended by our sins is also infinite in mercy and grace. This infinitude of God's mercy and grace is often called in the Bible, long suffering or fore bearing. And Paul here in this chapter on love begins his definition of love with that very sentiment.

Think of it this way: love bears offenses until judgment renders the verdict. There will be a day of reckoning with our Creator God and He withholds His judgment until then. That is why the Bible says that He suffers long. But He will one day render that judgment and His patience will be at an end for those who are wicked and ungodly.

Now think in terms of someone who has wronged you. Imagine that you hold your feelings, emotions, and even words until the offense is brought to light. For most of us, if not all of us, we feel wronged from the word go. There is no time we reserve until we begin to feel badly about it. Now imagine not bringing it up to the other person's attention, and also not sulking, stewing, or in any way holding a grudge or withholding friendliness from them until they realize their offense. Your immediate thought may be that they will never realize it if you do not bring it up. That may be true. But if a Christian brother does not realize he has offended you, perhaps it is best to forget about it. It could be that they will realize it many years down the road. In any case, is it really that offensive?

However, if it really is offensive and you just cannot bear with the person, a judgment will usually be rendered. Either you go to the person and tell them of the offense, and they judge that they have been in the wrong and ask your forgiveness, or through the biblical approach of Matthew 18:15-20, you involve the elders of the church to render a judgment of the offense. But in all that time before the judgment is rendered, you are supposed to suffer long in love. If you do not love the person who wronged you and bear with them through the process, how are you different from them? How is your offense less than theirs?

The bottom line of being patient as it pertains to love is that we bear with each other, just as God has been patient, merciful, and gracious with us. If we do not bear with one another, how can we expect Him to bear with us? John Newton wrote these words in 1779, ("One there is, Above all others.")

Could we bear from one another,

What He daily bears from us?

Yet this glorious Friend and Brother,

Loves us though we treat Him thus:

Though for good we render ill,

He accounts us brethren still.

Assignments:

1.  Continue to memorize 1 Cor 13. You may work ahead as we will memorize the whole chapter.

2.  Journal about the greatest offense committed against you. Write about how you handled it and what the result was. Hint: It is okay to be critical of yourself!

3.  Journal about how you have offended God. Hint: Start with each of the 10 commandments and write about how you have broken each one. You may have to consult the catechisms in order to list how you have broken some of the commandments.

4.  Look up the John Newton hymn from above and contemplate the rest of the song. Journal about how it exemplifies being patient in love.